Can you understand Londoners?

I know that many people believe that they speak fluent English. Some of you might think they know English well. But, let`s check if that`s true.
Я знаю, многие люди считают, что свободно говорят по-английски. Возможно, некоторые из вас думают, что хорошо знают английский. Но, давайте проверим, правда ли это.
Here is a video from Thomas Sharp, my British friend. He sent it to me with the words:
“If you can understand any I will be hugely inmpressed. This was taken by a friend who works with homeless people. This is obviously not right but it is very close to how the black community speaks. Obviously he is an extreme example. They are English. Born here. Jamaican.
I`ll send the transcript by Skype. I had trouble. It`s not real English.”

I need your help with the subtitles. Please, write your suggestions below.

Это видео от Томаса Шарпа, моего британского товарища. Он его прислал мне со словами:
“Я силно удивлюсь, если ты сможешь что-либо понять. Это снял мой друг, который работает с бездомными. Очевидно, это не так, как надо, но очень похоже на разговор темнокожего сообщества. Само собой – это крайность. Они англичане. Рождённые тут. Ямайцы.
Я тебе пришлю субтитры. У меня возникли сложности. Это не настоящий английский”.

Вы можете помочь мне с субтитрами? Пожалуйста, пишите ваши варианты в комментариях.

The video was taken on 14 September 2014 in London. Это видео было снято 14 сентября 2014 в Лондоне.

8 Oct 2014

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Δ

WHERE’STHEGAP?

Metro, tube, underground, subway. People there use the English language but the vocabulary varies. They even teach their doors to speak specifically!

Britain (mind the gap) V

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USA: (stand clear of the closing doors) V

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Australia: (doors closing, please stand clear) V

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Canada: (please, stand clear of the doors) V

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Hong Kong: (please, mind the door) V

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Singapore: (doors are closing) V

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Where is the gap?

Now, I wonder what the “gap” /ɡæp/
means. The gap between the doors? Or
between the doors and the passenger? Or
between the car and the platform? What is
this mysterious gap?

Where’s the gap?

27 Sep 2014, VR

My student visited the USA

This spring my student, Oleg Orlov, realised his dream to visit the Great Canyon. He had spent half a year studying English with me (and, also, he had done some hard work before our course). Then he came to New York, and took a plane to Los Angeles, and there he took a flight to Miami. Of course, he complained that sometimes he could not understand some people. He said they spoke too fast and used unknown words. But, it didn`t prevent Oleg from meeting with condors. Here are some photos of his dream`s:

1) New York, Manhattan, Central Park

All photos above were taken by and belong to Oleg Orlov.

P.S. Those of you who can`t wait should visit these places on Google Street View:

1) Manhattan, Central Park, New York

2, 3) The Grand Canyon

4) The Empire State Building, New York

5) Brooklyn Bridge, New York

6) The Statue of Liberty, New York

7) The Empire State Building, New York

8) The Brooklyn Bridge, New York

9) World Financial Center in the distance.

10) Rockefeller plaza

11) Hollywood Walk of Fame, Los Angeles

 

11 July 2014

You’re the APPLE OF MY EYE

Yes, you, my readers, are the apple of my eye. You are precious to me.
Как переводится “the apple of smb’s eye”? Как перевести “be the apple of somebody’s eye”?
Перевод с английского будет “ты свет моих очей/ты свет моих глаз”.
I have a day-off today, so here is the result:

Свет моих глаз по-английски.

This image belongs to Worth1000.com

This image isn`t mine.

                                                                 ORIGIN
This phrase came to (читать другую статью) English from Latin in the 9th century. Originally it meant ‘the pupil of the eye’. Here is how the original book and its translation looked:

From the Hebrew to Latin to Old English.

                                                            WHAT NATIVES SAY

“You are the apple of my eye” from Alex Iswearenglish, who helped with the video example here:

4 July 2014

UPD: 6 may 2016 (the origin).

Some problems tutors encounter with. Electricity.

Changing fuses

I had to restore electricity after some vandals had stolen my fuses. It turned out into a whole evening without light and computer in my flat. Later I had to make excuses to my students for not coming to lessons.
How do you change fuses? First, you have to live in Ukraine where it`s very easy to unscrew them from the box in your stairway. Then you have to screw them back without noticing them producing sparks when you connect them to their places. Then, make a blog post to show the evidence to your students and they`ll understand and forgive your absence.